PORTAL TO HELL
I have a little pact with myself to only ever write good reviews of anywhere or anyone, but I am going to make an exception for this soul vacuum. If you have a minute spare, here are a few examples of my night there:
We were on a guest list to see a band (a first for me). Now desp read morePORTAL TO HELL
I have a little pact with myself to only ever write good reviews of anywhere or anyone, but I am going to make an exception for this soul vacuum. If you have a minute spare, here are a few examples of my night there:
We were on a guest list to see a band (a first for me). Now despite this band containing two owners of this club, clipboard guy number 1 (CGN1 - a man so desperate for power he makes Gadaffi look stunted by his passive politics) maintained we were not on the list, and took great pleasure in pointing out I was wearing trainers "anyway" ( they were blue shoes - I am 31, and have been cast adrift by the good ship Fashion).
The proper bouncers (who later apologised for CGN, unprompted, in the "we have tried everything with him" way mothers of uncontrollable children do) suggested they had house shoes that I could wear. As well as being unfashionable, I am neither proud nor particularly health conscious, so I agreed, for the sake of the wife of one of the band members (also not on this list apparently). When we got to the shoe exchange bit, I asked for a size 9 or 10 trying to keep it friendly and overheard clipboard guy Number 2 (CGN2) say, 'these are 8, they will do him' (despite having enough pairs in there to suspect the club was really a front for some underground shoe ring). He then threw them on the ground in front of me, the same way you would feed a pig. When I said, "Fro God's sake, would you not hand them to me? " he replied, in a classic "I know you are but what am I" debating style, "I said they were going on the ground anyway" and smiked at CGN1. With hindsight I should have taken the shoes, turned them sideways, and shoved them into nearest CGN twin oriface- put I repeat, I am not a proud man.
But wait, theres more, It wasnt just the staff- the place was wall to wall bad gene. One of of our friends was going to the bar and brushed off a girl (classic BBC, hair and make up indirectly proportional to her personality). The girl, thinking on her hind legs, turned and instantly told my friend "f-off". When I asked her to explain herself, she managed to spit out that she had been almost knocked over and then gave me a smile so insincere and overtly bitchy, it would strip a child of its innocence. Now, even if my friend had nearly knocked her over (which I doubt, purely on the basis that a quadraped has a far better centre of gravity) that is not the behaviour we come to expect of a private club member, now is it???
There is plenty more, but this is turning into a bitter rant that I will be too embarrassed to look at later,so lets end on a positive note. This place has been keeping other Northampton pubs free of pretention since 1981. If you are a member, consider giving next year's fees to charity and save your soul.
