Glastonbury rocks: make the most of it!

"Glasto people" eh? Yup we know, it's the time of year when the Sunday supplements suddenly get interested in rock music and send their most esteemed correspondents down to Somerset to pretend that they're part of the "Glasto crowd." At Licklist towers we don't pay much attention to this phenomenon – especially when it's accompanied by the faint whiff of condescension. No, we believe that a real Glastonbury festival experience is an authentic experience – and that means mucking in in mucky tents and punching the air to big anthemic choruses completely without irony. And besides it's an essential rite of passage isn't it? I mean, come on, a summer without Glastonbury would be like a Frenchman with deodorant: impossible.

So festival goers, it's time to open your minds and pack up your bikinis, your wellies, your waterproofs and your sunnies; you’re about to enter a zone where the weather rules and the music rocks!

Hang on though, sorry to sound like Dad after he's found you hovering near his whisky decanter; but there’s no excuse for arriving unprepared at one of the UK’s biggest and oldest festivals. We all know what it’s capable of, so borrow a line (but not fashion tips!) from the boy scouts and be prepared!

Listen, love, and look for more

Famous from the stacks of exposure it gets on the Beeb's Glasto coverage, the Pyramid Stage is the promised land for bands of any genre. Play on here and you're somebody, so don't expect a 3 hour set from the Cheeky Girls. This year the Pyramid will showcase three of the biggest names in rock through the ages. Jump around to the Arctic Monkeys on the Friday, raise your hands for The Rolling Stones on the Saturday, and sing along to Mumford & Sons on the Sunday. If none of that floats your boat, check out some of the other stages. Each one features around 20 different bands and artists across the weekend. It’s a real opportunity to sample music you haven’t heard before, so take a few chances here and there. If you don’t like it, you can move on to the next area - it’s not like you’ve just spent 15 quid on an album that you can’t stand.

Take cheap waterproofs

If you haven’t much room in your luggage, there’s actually something to be said for those Japanese-style ‘granny macs’ – the transparent kind! The bikini or midi dress will still look good, despite the mud and torrential rain. Yes, really – we're not saying that because we find inappropriately dressed individuals incredibly amusing. If neither of those options is a goer, there’s always the classic Berghaus waterproof coats, but be warned: just because you’re not intending to leave with someone else’s gear doesn’t mean that every one is as big-hearted as you. Look after your gear is the moral of the tale.

Remember to drink plenty of water

Partygoers the world over know the combination of too much alcohol and endless dancing can lead to dehydration, even without 27°C in the shade. Keep an eye on your friends and a thought for how dry your own mouth is. It’s an obvious indicator that shouldn’t be ignored. There’s nothing sexy about white sludge round the lips, and equally and there's certainly nothing fun about being dead.

Be as green as you can

No we're not the kind of people that only eat leaves and make our clothes exclusively from elderberries; but we do feel there are dozens of ways that you can ensure that the 2013 festival is the greenest one yet. For starters, just look at how to get there. You don’t have to walk to the site to reduce your carbon footprint. Almost a third of all ticket holders since 2004 have arrived at the festival via public transport – cars only get stuck in the mud anyway. Alternatively draft in some pedal power and ride your bike – Team Tor 2000 will pick up your luggage for you if you live within 20 miles of the festival.

If you take public transport, you’ll get a few special privileges as a Glastonbury Festival Green Traveller. Yeah, yeah, we hear you. ‘Special’ how?

Believe it, exclusive access to a solar shower after 24 hours in a mud bath is going to be special in a way you never imagined. And nothing comes cheap; not the tickets, not the food, not the drink. Since the Green Traveller offers discounted meals and merchandising, there’s not much sense in saying no. The potential nightmare journey there will be rightfully compensated for. Promise...

Give to charity, because that’s why we’re here

Finally, let’s just remember what the festival’s about. Without the music, it wouldn’t be here, but without the ethos the music wouldn’t be happening and the people wouldn’t have come. Glastonbury was created as a response to the commercialised music festivals in the 1960s. Although aspects of it have created a commercial behemoth within, there’s no need to buy into absolutely everything. With charities still at the forefront of the festival organisation, it’s to be hoped that each and every one of us lucky folk attending will give something wonderful towards a good cause. Whether it’s WaterAid, Greenpeace or Oxfam, we do good, they do good. All is at peace, man.