How to pull at a festival (part two)
Because honestly what better way is there to meet the future love of your life than to be in the middle of a field, drinking cider from a plastic cup whilst eating cold beans from a tin, that right there is romance is I ever did see it. In all seriousness though a festival is a great place to find a potential lover, you’re surrounded by similar aged, relatively good looking fellow human beings. All with an equally amazing taste in music, unless you find them front row of a Bieber set, in which case I would give them a wide birth and look the other way.
1)Ensure you look the part! We all know it’s what’s inside that counts but trust me if you smell like cow poo and have mud encrusted on your face you can sure as hell count on staying a single pringle for the entire duration of the festival season.
2)Don’t get so drunk you don’t even know what’s going on, before you know it Jim, John or Andy (whatever the hell his name is) will have done a runner and you will have to endure the heartache of watching your new lover run off into the sunset without you. Being a slurring drunken mess is apparently not attractive, no idea why.
3)Keep your eyes on the prize, I get that the fit one from Take That is on stage and your currently fan girling so hard your false eyelashes may just fall off but you can’t slack here, keep your eyes on the crowd, do some mingling if you have to. Chances are you’re pressed up pretty closely against someone; let’s hope for your sake it’s a hot, single specimen.
4)Hang around the Food stalls, not in a creepy way, but they are a great chilled out place to grab a bite to eat between sets, get involved in some mingling and enjoy a conversation about having to fork out a tenner for a burger and chips. Just don’t come across as a stingy, uptight idiot.
5)Be friendly and be yourself (if you’re not friendly then maybe don’t be yourself), relax and enjoy the music and the chances are someone will look your way, try hards generally don’t get anywhere. Guys are still guys and girls are still girls regardless of the fact you’re wearing a flower headband or a Spiderman costume.
6)Bring out your signatures moves, dance moves that is. Now is as good a time as any to get on down, feel the beat and just go with it. The Robot if done well can work quite a charm; if not done well it will go down like a lead balloon as will your ego. If things go to plan you could even find yourself doing some dirty dancing by the end of the night, Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey style obviously, keep it clean guys.
7)As a general rule you wanna stay away from the Portaloos at all costs but having said that they are a great place to strike up a conversation, in the line that is, not the actual portaloo cause that wouldn’t go down so well. Just limit the amount of time you spend queuing for the toilet or people will start to think you have problems.
8)But finally, don’t look desperate! This goes without saying, if they’re not interested then move on, you will only further embarrass yourself or even worse be escorted out by security (how very awkward). At the risk of sounding like your mother there are plenty more fish in the sea (or humans in the field for this particular occasion).
Good luck on your quests for love and remember if it all goes wrong it’s not my fault.
Disclaimer: I cannot be held responsible for any drinks thrown in face or disgusted glances thrown your way. You only have yourself to blame.
By Sophie Black