Awful club. In one night, I managed to get punched in the face, had my drink spat in, been elbowed in the back leading to terminal paralysis, had a hookah blow up in my face, had a cigarette put into my eye by a Middle eastern man who called me a western capitalist pig, contracted HIV. All this before being abducted to where I can only assume is a third world country, being tested on like a guinea pig, being fed nothing but single jd and coke (cheaper than vodka might I add) as well as having my backside probed every day. I would have rather been hung drawn and quartered than spend another night in this third world county. I'm pretty sure I'm actually in Iran, thanks vodka!

Also it is impossible to drop a deuce here, the toilets are atrocious and full of local brilliant people who do nothing apart from ignore the poor African fella working there. This is trump's Britain now, we have to respect the immigrants we have because they are now a finite resource. So next time you're offered a 'splash' to get 'gash', you better appreciate the work that man has done to get across the ocean from Uganda. Have you been to Uganda? Me neither, let's go sometime!

I would rather spend my time and money elsewhere, probably spoons, they do cracking wraps and the women that work there have fantastic breasts.