I used to go oceana and loved it. I discovered last night, that under its new name the bar has not only been lowered, but has been dropped.

We joined the queue at 10:30 to take advantage of the free entry before 11, no such luck. At 10:45 the queue just stopped moving and like muslims going through American customs we were halted.

So eight quid down we headed in and joined the cloakroom queue, which took another half an hour (can you see a theme developing here).

Coats off and party on we queued up for drinks, this ordeal took over 30 minutes. When we eventually reached the bar the preteen bartender Patrick served patrons who arrived after us first. He did this twice, possibly because he lacks intellect, but the more plausible option would be he was hoping to spark a romance with one of the scantily clad girls who had pushed in.

Enough said about that I recommend BYOB, but stick it where the bouncers won't frisk you...
Moving on, we double parked and headed to the main dance floor. There we met a lovely chap with some missing teeth who was wearing a Lacoste polo and sporting a haircut resembling Kenzie from blazing squad. Needless to say kenzie was on his own, and had obviously taken something stronger than paracetamol. He was shouting at the DJ booth and dispersing the crowds near him, aside from the bouncer who seemed oblivious to the vibe Kenzie had brought to the party.

All partied out and sadly sober we decided to hit McDonald's. Unfortunately the worlds slowest cloakroom attendant had lost one of our coats. So after waiting half an hour for them to locate the stray coat, we missed last orders at McDonald's and had to settle for subway.

All in all a terrible night, I will be going hydeout in future.