Planning a Guy’s Night Out

Planning a Guy’s Night Out

The guy’s night out is one of the most sacred of male past-times. A ritual held dear by the majority and one that is seen as an essential part of any man’s life; the glue that binds any friendship, it is the perfect way for men to bond and let off a little steam. It is an activity that becomes less frequent as a man grows older, enjoys increasing work commitments, finds a mate, or whose body simply cannot handle it as much as it used to. Although there is always one constant, regardless of age, life situation or social status, whenever they meet up, it’s like they’re 16 again!

Here is a 12-step guide to planning and executing a fantastic guy’s night out.  


1. The Proposal – The night’s conception, where one decides that it is past-time for a get-together. This can be communicated in any number of ways, but three of the more frequent are:

  • A Phone Call – The method for the last minute night out as it is the fastest way to get a response (presuming they answer!), though it is easy to forget someone!
  • A Group Text Message – A quick and easy way to get the message across, if slightly impersonal. This is perhaps easier to ignore however with the aim to ‘text back later.’
  • A Facebook Group – A growing trend, the Facebook group is similar to the group text message with the added bonus that each reply can be seen, meaning the banter starts early!


 2.  The Reply – Simple, a yes or no answer, the maybe’s are useless, no-one likes a ditherer!


3. The Confirmation – The beginning of the end, where the plan becomes a reality and where the numbers are set (though there is always a last-minute tag along or too).


4. The Decisions – There are two big decisions to be made in the process:

  • Where to pre-drink – Will it be at someone’s house? Or a bar closer to the location?
    • Where to go – The organised amongst us will make the decision at this point (but who can honestly say that they do? And stick to it!), but often this is decided in the taxi, or at the pre-drink venue.


5. The Build-up – The Facebook group is the perfect arena for ‘The Build-up’, as banter can fly from all directions with this medium. But some choose to trade texts, which will often bounce back and forth quicker than the action at Wimbledon! Here is where the anticipation begins to build.


6. The Day Before the Night – Whether at work, University, on the couch, or (god forbid) spending the day with the family, at least part of the lads mind will already be in party mode – this will only increase as the day matures and will often lead to some pre-pre-drinking.


7. The Night Begins – The adrenaline is now in full flow, there is a beer (or some other alcoholic beverage) in hand and invariably some music playing from some location or other within the house, just to feed the mood. The taxi pulls up, often too early, and the rush is on!


8. The Taxi Ride – The banter is now in full flow – mockery, ridicule and derision is coming from all angles. Even the taxi driver is getting involved (presuming they’re a good one!) and they tend to be veterans of hundreds of town pickups, knowing every trick in the book! As mentioned above, this is often where the main location will be decided (sometimes even the pre-drink location!).


9. The Pre-drink – An absolute must, in fact it is night out law! In some cases the pre-drink will be before the taxi ride, particularly for those on a budget, when they are arranged to be at someone’s house or at the local pub.


10. The Club – Inevitably entrance to the club will be delayed by that one guy who has not brought any cash out. So the first stop is the bank for a wallet refill (though if there’s a big group some may go ahead). Then to the queue, which at the beginning looks to be bigger than the Great Wall of China, but it will end up being far quicker than anybody expects, so ID’s at the ready! And once inside, each of the party will head to the bar to get in their first drink-  and one (or sometimes more) will invariable come back with a tray of shots – to which the majority will shake their heads, but go on to down anyway. The dance floor will always beckon at some point and the time will fly by, with the bouncer undoubtedly calling time far too early.


11. The After Party – Nothing like those expected after big concerts, the guy’s night out after party consists of either going to a late night club or a casino, often by way of the bank again, to spend what’s left of their earnings on keeping that buzz going for a little bit longer. Success depends on the state of all participants and the leniency of the bouncers. At this stage some members of the group may stray or just cry off entirely to get a taxi home.


12. The Kebab Shop – Almost as imperative as the night out itself (some might say more so), never has anything tasted so good on the night but felt so bad in the morning. The characters found in the kebab shop are so surreal it is often hard to imagine that they were real the next day through the banging head and creasing stomach. Though no matter the banging head, more often than not it was worth it!


By Calum Dewsbury

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