Cheesy Music Clubs in Essex can be cool to go to cool clubs and dance a cool dance to cool music whilst pretending that you are as cool as all the cool people pretending to be cool... Right, lets cut the crap: if you want a surefire hit of a night then just go to these pla
These venues deal mostly in cheese. They live and thrive off it.

Not some metaphorical mild old Dairylea or Philadelphia spread. Even medium strength cheddar is laughably weak. These venues are built on stinking heaps of full bodied stilton-esque pop magic. I'm talking Freddy Mercury making out with Justin Beibers early work whilst Madonna and Lady Ga-Ga jump on the bed screaming the lyrics to Barbie Girl.

Your mouth will ache from smiling. Your legs will hurt from dancing. There is a fairly high likelihood that you will collapse and die from having too much fun (that part is probably not true).